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A wonderful book for anyone with questions about divorce - written by Alex Robboy's mother :)
How to have good sex
Transitions
By Lancie Martin Mazza
Ask Lancie,
Dear Wondering Mind,
Let me start by saying that you and your boyfriend are in a
normal phase of life transition. Graduating
college is closing the door to the last stage of your childhood and opening the
door to independent adulthood.
This is a period of growth, which can be very exciting and
very frightening. You stated that
your boyfriend is six years older than you and yet has finished college only six
months prior to you. What were the
circumstances which took him longer to complete his education?
If it was procrastination, he may be having the same issues with the
thought of “beginning his life.”
It sounds as though your boyfriend is having a normal
experience of any individual who has recently graduated from college and has to
make difficult decisions about their future.
His comment that he will always be a bartender, leads me to believe he
has little faith in his ability to utilize his education and be successful.
The relationship with you, may be added pressure to his feelings of
needing to move forward, but not knowing how.
It is very hard to predict when another
individual will change. It sounds
as if you were surprised by this sudden decision your boyfriend made when he
asked for space, and you may be surprised and bewildered by him or another
partner in the future. As well as
you feel you know and love him, he is still an individual with independent
thoughts and feelings.
The issue to concentrate on at this point is are you
taking care of your own needs? You
have also started a new and challenging phase in your life. Take advantage of this time to decide who you are and what
you want to do with your education. I’m
not telling you to stop supporting your partner, however I am suggesting you
leave yourself open to all the adventures wait out there for a you.
Lancie
