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How to have good sex

Past Tips

Orgasm

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Orgasm (written by Dr. Rowan)

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The Female Orgasm (written by other sexperts)

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The Male Orgasm (written by other sexperts)

HTHGS: Orgasm (written by Dr. Rowan)

Ask Ron,
I have been with quite a few men in my time, but I have never had an orgasm.  My boyfriend and I have tried everything that we can think of, but it just doesn’t work.  I refuse to masturbate, does me not masturbating have a lot to do with me not having an orgasm?

 

Dear Orgasm,
Orgasms are not automatic and you need to learn how your own body responds to various stimuli.  Masturbation did not cause the inability to orgasm, but you are avoiding the best way to learn how to be orgasmic.  Self-help books such as Becoming Orgasmic and For Yourself suggest a program of relaxation, self-observation, and touching in order for a woman to find out what is most stimulating for her so that she can then share that with her partner.  You don't say why you refuse to masturbate.  You might want to discuss those reasons with a therapist, friend, or sex-positive religious advisor. Dr. Ron Rowan

 

Ejaculation Orgasm The G-spot
Male Ejaculation The Male Orgasm Locating the Male G-spot
Female Ejaculation The Female Orgasm  Locating the Female G-spot
 

 

 

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The Founder: Alex Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS
Alex Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.

 

  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 
                                                                                    

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last updated April 27, 05