Vaginal Dryness

Ask Feintech,
I'm a subscriber to your e-mails and I visit your website. It's really quite interesting and helpful. Here’s my question: I'm 42 and my wife is 41. We enjoy an outstanding sex life and there is just one small problem. Because she had a hysterectomy 7 years ago my wife went through early menopause and experiences extreme vaginal dryness. We use lubes and it most definitely helps but sometimes it just plains "wears off" and I have to stop and put more on...sometimes three times. It's frustrating but we love each other and we deal with it. My questions are...is there a longer lasting lube on the market? Also I've noticed that occasionally there doesn't seem to be enough friction to have an orgasm during intercourse and she performs oral sex which always works. Could this be because I may be losing sensitivity in my penis or could her vagina maybe be losing some tightness? We've tried several positions and it doesn't seem to make a difference. But like I said, we love each other dearly and we try and do whatever is necessary to please each other. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks much, Mark

Dear Mark,
An excellent lubrication is Astroglide. KY also has a water based personal lubricant that is good...These products are fairly long lasting and quite slippery...Don't be afraid to slather it on. They may become sticky as they dry and need to be remoistened with saliva or water. (To purchase lubricant, go to http://www.howtohavegoodsex.com/sex_toy.htm)

Avoid Vaseline petroleum jelly or lotions or baby oil.

Concerning your second question, there may be some loss of vaginal tightness, particularly if she has had one or more babies.

Kegel exercises can be of help in strengthening the muscles surrounding the vagina and increasing satisfaction for both you and her. She can identify the correct muscle (pubbococcygeus or PC) by sitting on the toilet with her legs apart and squeezing out

Teaspoonfuls of urine.... that’s her PC....

Once she has identified it, she can begin exercising this muscle by contracting hard for a second and then releasing completely.

She should repeat this 10 times in a row to make up one group of kegels (about 20 seconds worth). In a months time, she should work up to 20 groups (7 min. total)...she can do this while sitting in a car or bus, while talking on the phone, at work...no one will know what she's up to.

Good luck and love each other well

Ronald Feintech, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist